A Night at the Ball (2nd Installment)

Hey, people! Menni here (again).

Here with the second installment of A Night at the Ball!

to recap: the girls are in the receiving line, Esmerelda has one hand over her face and is trying to breathe deeply and evenly, and Sir Edgar Fitzgerald Neopocoplis Matierateti Holdenberg Kastial Inderman Massis Robertdyn Eugene the 16th, on the other hand, is trying desperately not to laugh again. 

A Night at the Ball

      Esmerelda didn’t have a chance to tell Rosea off for impertinence, because just then they reached the front of the receiving line. “Presenting Misses Esmerelda, Azura, Bianca, and Rosea Cholmondeley!” The girls all curtsied deeply as the royal family nodded graciously. The High Prince Arugula winked subtly at Rosea, who winked back with a barely stifled giggle. As the girls walked away, they heard the herald begin “Presenting Sir Edgar Fitzgerald Neopocoplis Matierateti-”
      “That door over there leads to the gardens, Esmerelda,” Rosea offered, “if you want to go out and scream.” She gave a little skip. “I’m sorry I annoyed you so much, but really it was quite worth it.”
      “Those are probably Prince Arugula’s private gardens.” Esmerelda took a deep breath. “All I can say is the prince had better fall in love this year, because I can’t imagine being responsible for you at a ball again.”
      “And he’d better fall in love with me,” Bianca added, twirling her silken skirts out in a graceful spin.
      “I wonder who he’ll dance with this year?” Azura said to change the subject.
      Esmerelda shrugged. “Goodness knows–I’ve always thought he picks randomly.”
      “And you speak with all the wisdom of three times at the ball,” Rosea giggled. “I bet Aru–Prince Aru, sorry, Es–doesn’t pick quite randomly, because then he might end up with a simply awful gossipy lady, and that would be horrid. Perhaps he has a friend pick for him, someone he trusts absolutely-”
      “Well, it doesn’t matter this year,” Bianca complained. “I’d bet my diamond necklace this year he dances with Rosea.” And sure enough, when the herald announced “The High Prince Arugula will now choose his first dance partner!” Prince Aru came to the Cholmondeley girls and bowed to Rosea.
      “Would you do me the honor of joining me in this first dance?”
      “Me? Really, truly??” Rosea was literally bouncing up and down from excitement. “Yes, of course!”
      Prince Aru, looking as though he quite wanted to laugh but in a nice way, led Rosea out to the middle of the dance floor.
      Esmerelda was practically hyperventilating again.
      “Oh, relax,” Sir Edgar Fitzgerald Neopocoplis Matierateti Holdenberg Kastial Inderman Massis Robertdyn Eugene the 16th said. “Aru doesn’t mind in the slightest.” He grinned at her. “Dance with me, and I’ll show you.”
      “What happened to your good manners?” Esmerelda hissed, accepting his hand nonetheless.
       “They were a mere facade,” Sir Edgar Fitzgerald Neopocoplis Matierateti Holdenberg Kastial Inderman Massis Robertdyn Eugene the 16th replied with a perfectly straight face, leading Esmerelda into the dance. “I knew the High Prince Arugula might be late, and in my worry I fell back upon stiff good manners.” Other couples began to join the dance now–soon the floor would be packed. “Are you, perhaps, worried about something also?” He raised his eyebrows with an expression of utmost innocence.
      “What? No!” exclaimed Esmerelda.
      “Really?” Said Sir Edgar Fitzgerald Neopocoplis Matierateti Holdenberg Kastial Inderman Massis Robertdyn Eugene the 16th, one eyebrow raised as if he didn’t believe her in the slightest.
     “Well, maybe…” Esmerelda stared off behind him. “I’m just worried I’m going about Rosea all wrong. That maybe I shouldn’t be so cross with her about little mistakes.”
     “Not unless you want her to be a properly stuffy lady.”
     “Sir Edgar!”
      “Only joking.”
      “Ahem, yes. But in all seriousness, am I? That is to say, do you think I’m being too hard on her?”
      “In my not so humble opinion I think Rosea seems to need some freedom like most young ladies I’ve met, but that she also needs her sisters to guide her.”
      “Yes, I suppose that makes sense… Thank you.”
      “Not at all, my lady.”
      They continued to circle the dance floor, Esmerelda thinking about Rosea and Sir Edgar Fitzgerald Neopocoplis Matierateti Holdenberg Kastial Inderman Massis Robertdyn Eugene the 16th watching her brood.
      In the meantime, Rosea and the prince were dancing merrily around the ballroom. He spun her round and round in his sturdy arms until Rosea felt a little dizzy.
      “It’s a lovely night for a ball, isn’t it?” the prince asked.
      Looking around, Rosea nodded. The crystal windows were open letting in a stream of cool evening air. She could hear birdsong amid the musicians’ tunes and smell roses with the towers of pastries.
      “I’ve been looking forward to this dance ever since Esmerelda could go,” Rosea giggled. “She’s the oldest, you know – twenty. Isn’t that ancient?”
      The prince, being a little older than that himself, refrained from a reply. Rosea watched her red skirts swirl around her as they spun.
      “You have a beautiful gown,” the prince told her.
      “Isn’t it?” Rosea’s eyes lit up. “Bianca helped me choose it. Bianca knows an awful lot about things like that – and she thinks you’re dreadfully handsome.” Realizing that perhaps she oughtn’t to have said that, Rosea added hastily, “Or so she told me.”
      Prince Aru chuckled. “Well, I’m glad to hear it,” he winked.
      When the music ended, Prince Aru led her to the side of the ballroom. “Thank you for this dance,” he said with a bow.
      Rosea’s face broke into a grin. “Thank you for asking!” she giggled.
      She spotted Azura by the refreshments, who was talking with a gentleman dressed in plum coattails. Rosea studied Azura’s face, and decided that it looked rather strained. She hurried over to her sister’s rescue.
      “Oh,” Rosea exclaimed as she clutched Azura’s arm, “Come over here–I simply must show you something!”
      “And who is this young darling?” Plum Coattails asked.
      His blue eyes twinkled beneath his dark brows, but Rosea sensed it wasn’t in a friendly way. She stared at his rough, pale complexion. There was something oddly familiar about Plum Coattails, but she couldn’t fathom why.
      Azura cleared her throat uncomfortably. “My sister,” she answered, before turning to Rosea. “What is it you wanted to show me?”
      “Well, I-” Rosea frowned as Plum Coattails snatched her hand.
      “I don’t believe I had the pleasure of knowing your name.”
      Rosea flinched. “I’m, um, Rosea. And I really need to show Azura this, so if you could excuse us-”
      “Ah, but show her what?” Plum Coattails smiled, but not at all in a nice way.
      “Um-” Rosea started, her mind spinning frantically.
      “There you are!” Esmerelda said, coming up and saving Rosea. “I’ve been looking all over for the two of you.” She looked at Plum Coattails. “Might I ask your name, sir?”
      “You may ask,” Plum Coattails replied.
      “His name,” put in Sir Edgar Fitzgerald Neopocoplis Matierateti Holdenberg Kastial Inderman Massis Robertdyn Eugene the 16th, who had followed Esmerelda, “is-” he took a deep breath “-Lord Aries Caspar Kerston Loring Rayburn Salton Wilmor Eustace Johanathan Dorian Trinot Quesly Brinanir Fasley Sylor Morat Zaberdihinoukyl Rihcadr Polisigurd the Third.” He grinned at Plum Coattails. “Hello, Father.”
      “I have requested,” Lord Aries Caspar Kerston Loring Rayburn Salton Wilmor Eustace Johanathan Dorian Trinot Quesly Brinanir Fasley Sylor Morat Zaberdihinoukyl Rihcadr Polisigurd the Third said icily, “that you refer to me as Lord Aries Caspar Kerston Loring Rayburn Salton Wilmor Eustace Johanathan Dorian Trinot Quesly Brinanir Fasley Sylor Morat Zaberdihinoukyl Rihcadr Polisigurd the Third, now that you see yourself as outside my control.”
      “See, but ‘Father’ is so much shorter,” Sir Edgar Fitzgerald Neopocoplis Matierateti Holdenberg Kastial Inderman Massis Robertdyn Eugene the 16th pointed out. “Besides, one can’t break the habit of twenty-one years in just one week.”
      Rosea giggled. “Funny, I thought one acted more frightened of an evil father.” Rosea instantly clapped her hands over her mouth, because even she realized that that remark was dreadfully impertinent.
      “Rosea!” Esmerelda shrieked. Lord Aries Caspar Kerston Loring Rayburn Salton Wilmor Eustace Johanathan Dorian Trinot Quesly Brinanir Fasley Sylor Morat Zaberdihinoukyl Rihcadr Polisigurd the Third looked more than slightly offended. His son, on the other hand, burst out laughing.
      “Quite correct, Rosy–usually, one does.” He grinned. “I, however, have never been frightened of this particular ‘evil father,’ and in fact have been in direct and open rebellion against him since I turned eighteen. And having turned twenty-one exactly one week ago, I no longer have to accord him any respect at all.”
      “He’s still your father,” Esmerelda argued.
      “I know–it’s astonishing I turned out so well, right? My younger brother did too-” glancing around the ballroom, Sir Edgar Fitzgerald Neopocoplis Matierateti Holdenberg Kastial Inderman Massis Robertdyn Eugene the 16th snorted “-and Bianca certainly seems to agree.”
      Esmerelda followed his gaze in horror. It wasn’t quite as bad as she’d thought, but still. “That’s your brother?”
      “I didn’t know you had a brother,” Rosea said, looking interestedly at the dark-haired young man Bianca was shamelessly flirting with. “What’s his name?”
      “Sir Simeon Balthazaar Jehushapat Phrederic Rikington Ehpraim Cullen Nehemiah Montgomery Tokapen the Fifth,” Sir Edgar Fitzgerald Neopocoplis Matierateti Holdenberg Kastial Inderman Massis Robertdyn Eugene the 16th replied, watching with amusement his brother, who was flirting equally shamelessly with Bianca. “He’s eighteen, in case you were wondering, Rosy.”
      Rosea, who had in fact been wondering, giggled.
      “Don’t call her Rosy,” Esmerelda snapped.
      “Why not?” Sir Edgar Fitzgerald Neopocoplis Matierateti Holdenberg Kastial Inderman Massis Robertdyn Eugene the 16th raised his eyebrows. “She looks like a Rosy.”
      “You hardly even know her,” Esmerelda retorted. “And besides, we call her Zea.”
      “When nobody’s annoyed with me, that is,” Rosea added with a giggle, “and that’s rare. I don’t even like it much,” she confided, “I think it sounds too much like a goddess or something.” Rosea beamed up at Sir Edgar Fitzgerald Neopocoplis Matierateti Holdenberg Kastial Inderman Massis Robertdyn Eugene the 16th. “I like Rosy far better.”
      “I’ll call you Rosy, then.” Sir Edgar Fitzgerald Neopocoplis Matierateti Holdenberg Kastial Inderman Massis Robertdyn Eugene the 16th smiled at her. Esmerelda huffed angrily but was stopped from responding by Lord Aries Caspar Kerston Loring Rayburn Salton Wilmor Eustace Johanathan Dorian Trinot Quesly Brinanir Fasley Sylor Morat Zaberdihinoukyl Rihcadr Polisigurd the Third.
      “Excuse me,” he said icily, “but am I ever to be included in this flippant conversation?”
       “That reminds me,” Sir Edgar Fitzgerald Neopocoplis Matierateti Holdenberg Kastial Inderman Massis Robertdyn Eugene the 16th said, “the High Prince Arugula has invited these fine young ladies and me to take a tour of his private gardens, and we really shouldn’t keep His Highness waiting any longer. My brother and Bianca are invited as well–Rosy, could you go remind them?”
      “Of course!” Rosea skipped off.
      “What, exactly, reminded you?” his father asked.
      “Your desire to be rid of us, obviously,” Sir Edgar Fitzgerald Neopocoplis Matierateti Holdenberg Kastial Inderman Massis Robertdyn Eugene the 16th replied. “Shall we go, ladies?” Without waiting for a response he took Esmerelda on one arm and Azura on the other and led them calmly off.

And there’s installment 2!

I suppose I should explain how we wrote this joint short-story-thing…

So, we took it in turns to write sections (which do not correspond at all to the installments). I started (since it was my idea), then Enni went, then Genni.

Aaaand that’s about all there is to it.

Can you guys tell who wrote what? I’d love to hear your guesses… 😁

And okay, okay, I admit it – Sir Edgar may be Enni’s fault (OR Enni’s genius idea, as I prefer to think of him), but I was the one who added his dad and brother. So if you want someone to blame for Lord Aries of the sixteen-word name, BLAME ME.

Sorry not sorry 😈

Anyways, hope you enjoyed!

Menni

A Night At The Ball (1st Installment)

Hello, people! Menni here.

Behold! We actually finished that short story (13,400-ish words, but still technically a short story) that I told you about in the last post!

I’ll be posting it in installments, because Genni rightfully told me “It might be kinda long altogether…”

(what she meant, of course, was “NO YOU FOOL! IT’S TOO LONG! TOO LONG!)

(or wait, that might be what D. Fowl said… Well, you’re not publishing this one, silly chicken, so be quiet.)

Anyhoo! On to Installment 1 of Night at the Ball!

A Night at the Ball

      “I can’t believe we’re actually going to the ball!” Rosea squealed, bouncing up and down. “We’re going to the ball! I’ve been dreaming about this for simply years!”
      “Calm down,” Esmerelda ordered. “You’ll muss your dress.”
      “I shan’t muss mine,” Bianca said, swishing her elegant skirts. “I’m going to look perfect when I meet the prince.”
      “You’ll be lucky to exchange two words with him,” Esmerelda reminded her. “The receiving line goes quite fast–it has to, for them to announce everyone.”
      “Besides,” Azura added, “the poor prince is likely quite bored with these balls by now.”
      “I know,” Rosea agreed. “They’ve been giving them for years.”
      Esmerelda shook her head. “How has he not fallen in love with anyone yet?”
      “He hasn’t met me yet,” Bianca announced, tossing her hair dramatically.
      Rosea laughed. “I think he’s already fallen in love, but with someone horribly un-eligible. So they steal clandestine meetings by moonlight–maybe they’re stealing one now-”
      “That’s romantic rubbish.” Esmerelda said authoritatively. “Mama says so, and she used to be a lady-in-waiting, so she should know. Probably the prince is rebelling against his parents or something similar.”
      “He’s too nice for that,” Azura disagreed. “I think he’s simply got too many eligible young ladies to choose from. After all, with dozens of new noble-born girls coming to the ball every year when they turn sixteen, the poor young man doesn’t have time to get to know anyone.”
      “It’s shameful the way they positively throw potential brides at him,” Rosea said, twirling. “Especially when he must be already in love with a lovely secret lady-friend, and-”
      “- only holding these balls to keep his father satisfied.” Bianca finished.
      “Really?” questioned Azura. “That’s the best you can come up with?”
      Bianca primped her hair in the one of the gilded mirrors that hung on their bathroom wall. She gave a careless shrug.
      “As long as he sees me tonight, I’m quite alright with anything.” She winked suggestively and Rosea giggled.
      Bianca twisted one of her white curls around her finger. Satisfied, she unwound it to reveal a soft ringlet. Footsteps thudded softly on the tile as Marielle, their maid, stepped in. She bobbed her head.
      “The carriage is prepared for you, misses.”
      Rosea twirled her red and pink skirts in anticipation. She turned towards Bianca, running her fingers through the loose dark curls that framed her face.
      “Do I look all right?” Rosea asked anxiously.
      Bianca patted Rosea on the head. “Lovely,” she pronounced.
      Esmerelda smoothed out her chiffon skirts. She gave her sisters a critical look. “I believe we’re ready,” she pronounced. “Shall we go?”
      “Yes!” Rosea exclaimed. “We’re going to the ball!! Aren’t you excited?” She spun to give her twin, Bianca, a hug.
      “Careful of my gown!” Bianca protested, returning the hug nonetheless.
      “Hold still a minute,” Esmerelda said, interrupting Rosea’s twirling to straighten her sash. “Now, come along.” Esmerelda led the way to the Grand Staircase, which Rosea slid down the banister of.
      “Rosea! Careful of your dress!” Esmerelda and Bianca shrieked.
      “Sorry!” Rosea called, already at the bottom. She held her skirts out to examine them. “It looks all right to me.” Dropping her skirts, she spun again. “I’m just so excited!”
      Esmerelda pressed one hand to her forehead. “I can only hope the prince falls in love quickly; when I imagine taking Rosea to these balls year after year-”
      “You were just as bad your first year,” Azura laughed.
      “Indeed,” Bianca agreed. Clasping her hands in front of her in exaggerated mimicry of Esmerelda, she recited “I’m going to the ball, and I’m going to see the prince, and all of you have to stay home because I’m the eldest-”
      “And I’m going to wear a lovely gown,” Rosea continued, running back, “and I’m going to stay up all night, and I may even get to drink champagne-”
      “Oh, lay off,” Esmerelda ordered. “Now hurry along to the carriage, or we shan’t go to the ball at all.”
      After a short trip the girls arrived at the palace.
      “It’s huge,” gasped Azura as the sisters exited the carriage. “Much larger than any building I’ve been into before.”
     “Race you there!” called Rosea as she jogged, rather clumsily in the tight slippers, toward the castle’s ornate door.
     “Rosea!” groaned Esmerelda and Bianca in unison. Azura giggled behind them.
      When the guards opened the golden doors for the sisters, they gasped in awe. Inside the palace lived a swirl of vivacity. The sisters took in the marble pillars inlaid with gold. The diamond chandeliers that dangled from the painted ceilings. The long tables laid with silk tablecloths that were simply overflowing with towering cakes and dainty foreign delicacies. Men and women chattered quietly against the walls. The platform that held two thrones were empty – likely, the king and queen wished for everyone to arrive before making their grand appearance.
      Rosea’s cheeks flushed as her eyes glittered with adrenaline. “We’re here,” she breathed. She grabbed Azura’s arm. “Oh, we’re-here-we’re-here-we-here-we’re-here!”
      Bianca eyed the gentlemen intermingled with the crowd. Some of them had looks enough, but nothing compared to the prince. Now, he was a specimen. Esmerelda surveyed the room until her eyes landed at the crystal grandfather clock at the end of the room. “5:54,” she murmured. She placed a restraining hand on Rosea’s shoulder, who was bouncing up and down with glee. “The royal family should make their appearance in exactly six minutes.”
      “Six minutes,” Rosea gave a groan, “oh–how can anybody wait so long? Is he really as dreamy as he looks?”
Evidently, all Rosea’s daydreams about the prince’s secret love life with another girl had vanished.
      “Oh yes.” Bianca gave a slow wink.
Esmerelda frowned at them, motioning for them to settle down as a young man made their way to them. He bowed low, and the girls curtsied in return.
“Allow me to introduce myself,” the man said. “I am Sir Edgar Fitzgerald Neopocoplis Matierateti Holdenberg Kastial Inderman Massis Robertdyn Eugene the 16th.”
      Rosea blinked, her mouth slowly dropping open.
      Esmerelda nudged her.  “A pleasure.” She held out her gloved hand for Sir Edgar Fitzgerald Neopocoplis Matierateti Holdenberg Kastial Inderman Massis Robertdyn Eugene the 16th to kiss. He did ever-so-slowly which made Rosea gawk and Azura look away. “My name is Esmerelda and these are my sisters – Bianca,” Bianca gave a graceful dip of her neck, “Azura,” Azura smiled shyly at him, “and Rosea.” Rosea grinned up at him. The favor was not returned.
      “I have heard of-” he began, but just then the trumpets blasted and all the hubbub of the room hushed.
      “Announcing,” a page hollered, “His Most Blessed Majesty Methusias with his Noble Queen, Adriana, and his son–the High Prince Arugula.”
      Men bowed and women curtsied. They kept their heads bowed, staring at the marble floor, until a voice boomed, “You may rise.”
      Every head turned up. The first thing they noticed was the absence of the prince. Whispers swept the room.
“Where is he?” Bianca wondered, disappointed.
      “Late, apparently,” Sir Edgar Fitzgerald Neopocoplis Matierateti Holdenberg Kastial Inderman Massis Robertdyn Eugene the 16th said. “And of course they had to announce him anyway, just in case he managed to show up. Hmph.”
      “Ooh, and he was so close,” Rosea remarked. “Poor guy–he needs help. I’ll be right back.”
      “Where are you going?” Azura asked. “Rosea, wait!” Rosea was already gone, darting to an out-of-the-way door with a young man standing sheepishly beside it.
      “That’s the prince!” Esmerelda whisper-shrieked. “Oh my word– what is she thinking– of all the impertinent-” Esmerelda was practically hyperventilating.
      Sir Edgar Fitzgerald Neopocoplis Matierateti Holdenberg Kastial Inderman Massis Robertdyn Eugene the 16th absolutely cracked up. Esmerelda, naturally, was rather offended.
      “Beg pardon,” he gasped. “I didn’t mean to laugh.”
      “Besides, the prince doesn’t seem to mind,” Azura pointed out.
      “Why didn’t Rosea take me too?” Bianca complained. “Just look at them, chatting away like two old friends-”
       Sir Edgar Fitzgerald Neopocoplis Matierateti Holdenberg Kastial Inderman Massis Robertdyn Eugene the 16th’s mirth threatened to overcome him again.
      Esmerelda didn’t even notice. “Oh dear, what’s she doing now?”
      Prince Arugula had laughed and nodded at something Rosea said, and she flew off towards one of the footmen, while the prince ducked back through the door. Rosea animatedly suggested something to the footman, who nodded, looking amused and surprised, and told the next footman, who told the next footman, who told the next footman, and so on until it reached the herald.
“Announcing the High Prince Arugula!” he repeated. And the prince swept majestically through the enormous double doors, as though that was what he’d planned to do all along.
      Rosea rejoined the group. “What were you thinking?” Esmerelda demanded.
      “Aru was so very at a loss for what to do,” Rosea explained, “and I had an idea, so I had to go tell him.”
     “Aru???”  Esmerelda fairly shrieked.
      “He said I could call him that. It’s much nicer than Arugula, isn’t it?”
      “You ought to at least call him Prince Aru,” Esmerelda insisted. “Do you perhaps need a glass of water, Sir Edgar Fitzgerald Neopocoplis… Matierateti Holdenberg Kastial… Inderman… Massis Robertdyn Eugene the 16th?”
      “No, thank you” Sir Edgar Fitzgerald Neopocoplis Matierateti Holdenberg Kastial Inderman Massis Robertdyn Eugene the 16th, who had been laughing in muffled bursts again, replied. “I was merely contemplating the name Arugula.”
      “I know, right?” Rosea exclaimed. “Who names their child ‘Arugula?’”
      “It’s probably similar to Queen Rapunzel from the old stories,” Azura said thoughtfully. “No one thinks that name is odd anymore, because no one remembers that it used to be the name of a plant. Oh look, the receiving line’s starting.”
      “Come on, then,” Esmerelda ordered, dragging her sisters into line. Sir Edgar Fitzgerald Neopocoplis Matierateti Holdenberg Kastial Inderman Massis Robertdyn Eugene the 16th ended up right behind them.
       “What did you say to the prince, Rosea?” Bianca asked in a whisper.
      “Oh,” Rosea whispered back, “first I asked him if he was the High Prince Arugula, and he said yes but I could call him Aru, and then I said that if the herald were to announce him again he could act like he’d planned to be a little late all along, and he said that sounded like a good idea but how would we get the herald to announce him again? So I said I’d ask the herald and he said I’d better just tell one of the footmen and ask him to pass it along, because that would draw less attention, so I said all right and did that, and he went around and came in when he was announced. It all worked excellently,” Rosea added with a bounce. “He’s even nicer than he’s handsome.”
      Esmerelda had one hand over her face and was trying to breathe deeply and evenly. Sir Edgar Fitzgerald Neopocoplis Matierateti Holdenberg Kastial Inderman Massis Robertdyn Eugene the 16th, on the other hand, was trying desperately not to laugh again. 

And there’s installment 1! Hope you enjoyed!

We had a lot of fun writing this thing. 😁 I asked Enni and Genni to each tell me their favorite and least favorite parts about writing it (so I would have something to put at the end of this post XD).

ENNI: my favorite part was writing all the characters and my least favorite part was…honestly I don’t know 😛

GENNI: My favorite part- working with you guys 😊 Least favorite part – that my sections were really short

ME: My favorite part was when Enni invented Sir Edgar Fitzegerald Nepocoplis Matierateti Holdenberg Kastial Inderman Massis Robertdyn Eugene the 16th, and my least favorite part was when Enni decided that the girls were getting ready when I’d thought they were already AT the ball (though I’m grateful for that because I had to get over myself right away XD)

To which Enni said: “🤣 …thanks? XD”

I’lll try to post Night at the Ball (which will henceforth be referred to as NATB) one installment per day, but I’m on right-before-Christmas-break schoolwork overload, so that might not actually happen. Ah well. You guys knew better than to expect scheduled posting, right? 😉

Menni

Fixer Upper: Foster Square Edition

Hey, people! Menni here.

Yep, it’s another parody.

I would like to take this opportunity to genuinely apologize to the non-KOTLC-fans on this blog. I know I’ve been posting a lot of KOTLC stuff lately, but I do post other stuff, too. I promise. Like, recently I posted A Glimpse of Menni’s Younger Days. And Enni, Genni, and I are almost done with a short-story-collab we’re doing that’s going to end up on this blog! It’s only taken us, oh, since early August. IT’LL BE DONE SOON, OKAY??

*ahem* Anyhoo, this is a parody of Fixer Upper from Frozen (you know, the song the trolls sing), and I ended up writing it because I have wanted to tell Sophietroll (1)

since pretty much book 1. (I know that image is super pixelated, sorry. DO YOU WANT TO TRY TO FIND A DECENT PICTURE OF INCREDULOUS TROLLS??? DO YOU??? HUH??)

*ahem again*

On to the parody!

Fixer Upper: Foster Square Edition

(am I the only one who calls it the Foster Square?)

*the Dizznee triplets, with some help from others, are trying to convince Sophie to finally pick a guy. Each triplet is advocating for either Fitz, Keefe, or Dex. Rex is “defending” (ha) Fitz, Bex is defending Keefe, and Lex was left with Dex (who we all know has actually already been solved out of the weirdest love triangle ever). So whenever one of the triplets sings, you can assume they’re talking about/to their, uh, defendant.*

ALL:
What’s the issue, dear?
Why are you holding back from such a man?

LEX:
Is it the clumpy way he walks?

REX:
Or the grumpy way he talks?

BEX:
Or the pear-shaped, square-shaped weirdness of his feet?

LEX:
And though we know he washes well, he always ends up sort of smelly.

GRADY:
But you’ll never meet a fellow who’s as sensitive and sweet!

ALL:
So he’s a bit of a fixer-upper,
So he’s got a few flaws.

REX:
Like his peculiar brain, dear-

BEX:
His thing with the Quintessence
That nobody knows what will happen with!

ALL:
So he’s a bit of a fixer-upper, but this we’re certain of
You can fix this fixer-upper up with a little bit of love!

DEX:
Can we please just stop talking about this?
I already solved my side of the square.

REX:
I’ll say! *to Sophie* So tell me, dear
Is it the way that he runs scared?

LEX:
Or that he’s socially impaired?

BEX:
Or that he only likes to tinkle in the woods?

*everybody looks at her*

KEEFE: *blushes*

BEX: What?
*to Sophie* Are you holding back your fondness due to his unmanly blondness?

REX:
Or the way he covers up that he’s a
total jerk?

ALL:
He’s just a bit of a fixer-upper, he’s got a couple of bugs

BEX:
His isolation is confirmation of his desperation for human hugs
(Sophie: I’m, uh, not exactly a human.
BEX: Close enough.)

ALL:
So he’s a bit of a fixer-upper, but we know what to do
The way to fix up this fixer-upper is to fix him up with you!

KEEFE:
ENOUGH!
She is in love with Fitz already, okay?

REX/BEX/LEX: *blink blink*

BEX:
Sooo she’s a bit of a fixer-upper.

REX:
That’s a minor thing.

LEX:
Uh, Keefe’s an Empath, he’s usually right about this stuff-

FITZ:
And by the way? Check out our COGNATE RINGS!!!

ALL:
So she’s a bit of a fixer-upper, her brain’s a bit betwixt.
Get social constraints out of the way and the whole thing will be fixed.

(ALL BUT REX: ahhh ahhh ahhh )
*REX: AAAAaaARGH!*

EDALINE:
We’re not sayin’ you can change them,
‘Cause people don’t really change.
We’re only saying that love’s a force that’s powerful and strange.

BEX:
People make bad choices i
f they’re 

REX:
mad

BEX:
or scared 

REX/BEX/LEX:
or stressed.

BEX:
But throw a little love their way…

ALL:
Throw a little love their way…
And you’ll bring out their best.
True love brings out their best!
Everyone’s a bit of a fixer-upper,
That’s what it’s all about!

ALDEN: Father!

BIANA: Sister!

ALVAR: Brother!

(A LOT OF PEOPLE: *screams*)

(ALVAR: What?)

ALL:
We need each other to raise us up and
Round us out.

REX:
Everyone’s a bit of a fixer-upper, but when push comes to shove

LEX:
The only fixer-upper fixer that can

BEX:
Fix up a fixer-upper is

ALL:
True! true!
True, true, true!
Love (True love)
Love, love, love…
Love! (True love!)
True…

REX:
Do you, Sophie, take Fitz
To be your actual boyfrien-

SOPHIE: Wait, what?!

REX: He’s your boyfriend now!

ALL:
Love!

SOPHIE: *faints*

And there you have it! 

In order to forestall overlong discussions in the comments, I think I’d better clarify my Sokeefe/Sophitz position. If you’re not a KOTLC fan, you can (and probably should) skip this part. Honestly, if you’re not a KOTLC fan, you probably skipped the entire post already, so why am I talking to you? 

Anyways! In the real world, yes I am a Team Foster-Keefe. (In my fanfictions, I am also a Team Foster-Keefe… but in a very different way that takes a whole lot more explaining and weirds out a lot of my friends. Let’s just say that Sophie isn’t the only Foster sister.) However, I won’t fight anyone on the whole Sokeefe vs Sophitz thing, because I can argue for either side. The problem with Sokeefe is 1) KEEFE DESERVES BETTER, and 2) Fitz would never talk to either of them ever again. Actually, I’m unsure why #2 is a problem, since I personally dislike Fitz… which is one of my problems with Sophitz.  Predominately, though, I don’t like them because they have a very physical-appearance-based relationship (can you deny it?) and that generally means you’re going to crash and burn. (SOPHIE: You and your eyes flattered my senses, your handsomeness left me defenseless… *oh boy I see another parody coming on*) I think it’s weird that Fitz is such an awesome boyfriend to Sophie BEFORE he’s actually her boyfriend, and then once he IS, he’s like “what do I care about your feelings? I like my perfect life! But I want you too! But you don’t fit with my perfect life!”

palps (1)

*I love those videos, by the way – they’re the BEST*

Plus, excuse me Mr Forkle, but on WHAT planet does it work to try to make two teenagers of opposite sexes Cognates??? Especially when one of them very obviously has a crush on the other, and you’re not sure if he returns her feelings. Oh well, they’d be powerful, so let’s just make them share all their deep feelings with each other! This can only end well, right?

Anyways, *deep breath* this is starting to turn into a rant, so here is a meme-ish summation of my feelings about Sokeefe/Sophitz:

keefe (1)potentialFitz (1)potentialSophI could have been meaner to Fitz and used a picture of Humperdinck screaming in rage, but he’s not THAT bad.

SOPHIE: Why do I have to choose now? My life kinda sucks, you know.
FITZ: Try ruling the world sometime.
KEEFE: As you wish… 

Aaand there we go! Hope you enjoyed!

Menni

ANNOUNCEMENT Update!

Hello, people! Menni here (on behalf of Genni).

If you recall, a month-ish ago I posted this. 

You’re all really excited, right? I know I am! 😃

Anyhoo, this post is an update on that. Genni would like y’all to know that she IS still working on it, but it probably won’t be done until after Christmas. Here’s the current cover art to keep you interested!

LOST (1)

*cluck* Why would that keep anyone interested?

Aaaand here’s D. Fowl, our *cough* publishing agent, the representative of Book Chickens Inc.

I mean, come on, there aren’t any chickens on that cover! Not one! Why should ANYONE be interested?

Well, uh, I hate to break it to you, but people can like things other than chickens.

*cluck* Impossible.

And what’s with that weird strip-thing at the top?

I’m going to take that off for the official one, don’t worry. See, I made this in Canva (a semidecent design site), and you can only have one background. If the photo went all the way to the top, “poof” there goes the city background.

Thank you for that overcomplicated and apologetic explanation.

Hey!

I assume that odd-looking human with the sun shining through her face is Mayna?

Yep! I found like eleven million pictures on the internet and had Genni pick the best one.

How very interesting. *cluck* not

What was that?

Nothing, nothing. Right – listen up, silly humans! At some point this book that the exceptionally silly human (Genni) is writing will appear on this exceptionally silly blog. BUT it will be published by Book Chickens Inc., so all you silly humans must read it. 

Uh, thanks…?

WAIT – what is THIS????

What?

Dinner consisted of chicken, salad, and bread, along with my mom attempting conversation, everyone answering as shortly as possible, more awkward silence, and shifty looks.”

That’s a Lost in Camden quote, yeah. What about it?

Dinner consisted of chicken, salad, and bread”

Ye-es…?

“Dinner consisted of CHICKEN”

Oh.

THESE PEOPLE EAT CHICKENS!! I DEMAND THAT THAT SENTENCE BE CHANGED!!!

I’m pretty sure it’s the evil people who are serving chicken, actually.

VENGEANCE FOR CHICKENS!!!!!

Aren’t we even going to explain the quote?

VENGEEEAAAAAANNNNCEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!

I guess not. 

Have a good day/night/evening/morning/whatever!

Menni

VEEEENNNNGGGGEEEEEAAAAANNNNNCEEEE FOR CHICKENS!!!!!!!

P.S. please ignore our publishing agent

A Glimpse of Menni’s Younger Days

Hello, people! Menni here.

My family is doing our, uh, spring cleaning (we’re totally not late about it, oh no, we’re doing it EARLY for next year), and while cleaning out underneath my school desk I found a number of *ahem* mementoes from my childhood years.

Ok, they were mostly REALLY lousy drawings, but I found this write-your-own-storybook-thing that some well-meaning relative gave me a looooong time ago. The cover says “Once Upon a Time” next to a glittery fairy (it’s actually kinda pretty, which is probably why I’ve kept it so long XD). Intrigued, I opened it. A bunch of unused glittery stickers of palm trees and princesses and mushrooms and whatnot fell out, but I didn’t pay much attention because I was too busy reading this absolutely riveting story:

“Once upon a time there was a princess that lived by the sea. She had a older brother named Julian. Julian had a horse that was brown. One day, when the prince was away visiting their cousins, the princess saw a mermaid.”

*two-page sticker interlude depicting the princess and the mermaid in their respective castles*

“the mermaid was Beautiful. She took the *sticker that says ‘Pretty Princess’* to her home.
             “Meanwhile, Julian was fighting a DRAGON in the *sticker signpost: ‘the enchanted forest’* by some *sticker reading ‘magical mushrooms’* as he saved their cousin, the Princess Linda. Just as the DRAGON was winning, along came some *sticker that says ‘Forest Friends’ with a cute little bunny on it* and saved the day.”

*one-page sticker interlude with a princess in a… we’ll be polite and call it a “tower”… saying “My hero!” while a knight points a sword at a fire-breathing dragon and says “Charge!” In the top right corner a purple fairy announces “The spell was broken!” (what spell? 🤷‍♀️), and in the bottom left corner a frog prince and princess observe the scene from a magical mushroom. I showed real artistic talent, clearly.*

“meanwhile, in a different kingdom a Prince was in love with Princess Dimond. the Princess was in love with him too! they got married and had a babie and lived *sticker banner: ‘happily Ever After’*”

*next to that there’s a prince holding flowers saying “Flowers for you!” (that was seriously one of the speech-bubble stickers) and a princess with a cute little handbag saying “How perfect!” There’s a heart in between them, so I think they’re Prince Unnamed and Princess Dimond*

“the END”

Picture all of that in really awful seven-or-eight-year-old handwriting.

I think the story was heavily influenced by the stickers I had, given that there’s a fancy-looking brown horse next to “Julian had a horse that was brown.” There were lots of mermaid stickers, too, hence the Beautiful mermaid. I’ve always been fond of mermaids.  

And may I just mention how HARD it was not to fix my youthful grammar and spelling?

Anyways, this story is on this blog because when my mom asked if I wanted to keep the story (which we tore out of the storybook — the rest of it will go to some other lucky little girl!) I thought *and said XD* “Hey, this is actually kind of cutely bad — I’ll post in on YWAI!” 

I hope you enjoyed!

Menni

ok, it’s ANOTHER parody

Hi, people! Menni here.

*ahem* Look, I know what you’re all thinking…

(You’re thinking HOORAY I LOVE THESE PARODIES I WISH SHE WOULD POST THEM EVERY DAY, right?)

(ok, maybe not quite)

(but I was close, wasn’t I? At least a little?)

This parody is about ducks, though. So it must be great!

After all, one us insaners (looking at you, Enni) is a duck at heart. Quack.

Let me explain how this parody got started (because it’s a funny and complicated story, and y’all love funny and complicated stories).

There’s this part of a story I’m writing just for fun that cracks me up EVERY TIME:

“I am not a coward! I simply happen to have some sense in my head!”

“Ha! I never saw such a sheep-hearted — duck!”

Kiara immediately dropped and Dixi leaped over her to dispatch the soldier whose sword had whistled harmlessly over Kiara’s head. Kiara stood and turned to continue the conversation.

“Sheep-hearted duck?”

😂 😂 😂 😂

IT’S JUST SO FUNNY

So, anyhoo, I sent that to Genni because we were talking about laughing at our own writing, and at some point in the conversation, I said “baaa-quack.”

And then I decided to tell Enni “baaa-quack” without explaining and see what she’d say.

Very wisely, she said “baaa-quack.”

ME: well, now we know

ENNI: ?

ME: I sent Genni that story bit: “sheep-hearted duck” do you remember it?

ME: And so I said “baaa-quack”

ENNI: 🤣

ME: and we were like, this is ducks! We should get Enni in on this!

ENNI: 😂😂

ME: So I decided to see what you’d say in response to “baaa-quack”

ENNI: wow

ENNI: very nice

ME: yep

ME: baaa-quack

ENNI: baa-quack

Just your typical crazy conversation, right?

BUT WAIT

back up a little

“this is ducks!”

source

Aaand my insane brain took that and ran with it, and this is the result:

🦆 This Is Ducks 🦆

I am not a stranger to the park

Quack away, they say

‘Cause we don’t want to feed you bread

I’ve learned to be ashamed of my baguettes

Eat away, they say

No one’ll love you if you’re fat

But I won’t let them break me down to crumbs

I know that ducks do not have thumbs

Why does that maaaattter… 

When their breadless words wanna cut me down

I’m gonna quack louder, gonna drown ’em out

I’m not full, I need food

Quacks are much better than clucks, this is ducks

Look out ’cause here I waddle

I will eat your bread and splash in a puddle

I still need to be fed

I don’t take apologies, this is ducks

Quack-Quack-Quack-Quack

Quack-Quack-Quack-Quack

Quack-Quack-Quack-Quack

Quack-Quack-Quack-Quack

Quack-Quack-Quack, Quack-Quack-Quack, Quack-Quack-Quack, Quack, Quack

Another round of bullets hits my feathers

Hunters are so cruel, how could you, we should tie you up with tethers

We are bursting through your fences and we’re

Reaching for the bread (we are warrior-ducks!)

Yeah, that’s what we’ve become (yeah, that’s what we’ve become)

I won’t let them break me down to crumbs

I know that ducks do not have thumbs

Why does that maaaattttter…

When their breadless words wanna cut me down

I’m gonna quack louder, gonna drown ’em out

I’m not full, I need food

Quacks are much better than clucks, this is ducks

Look out ’cause here I waddle

I will eat your bread and splash in a puddle

I still need to be fed

I don’t take apologies, this is ducks

Quack-Quack-Quack-Quack

Quack-Quack-Quack-Quack

Quack-Quack-Quack-Quack

Quack-Quack-Quack-Quack

Quack-Quack-Quack, Quack-Quack-Quack, Quack-Quack-Quack, Quack, Quack

This is Ducks!

And I know that I deserve your love

(Quack-Quack-Quack-Quack) There’s nothing I’m not worthy of

(Quack-Quack-Quack, Quack-Quack-Quack, Quack-Quack-Quack, Quack, Quack)

When the breadless words wanna cut me down

I’m gonna QUACK louder, gonna drown ’em out

This is bread, and baguettes

This is what I’m meant to eat, 

this. is. ducks.

Look out ’cause here I waddle (look out ’cause here I waddle)

I will eat your bread and splash in a puddle (splashy bread, splashy, splashy bread)

I still need to be fed

I don’t take apologies, this is ducks!

(quack-quack-quack-quack) When the breadless words wanna cut me down

I’m gonna quack louder, gonna drown ’em out

(quack-quack-quack-quack, quack-quack-quack-quack, quack-quack-quack-quack)

(quack-quack-quack-quack)

I’m gonna QUACK LOUDER

Gonna drown ’em out

(quack-quack-quack, quack-quack-quack, quack-quack-quack, quack)

Quack

This is ducks!

Annnd that’s ducks! Hope you enjoyed! (I know I did XD)

Menni

Yet Another Parody!

Hey, people! Menni here.

Can you tell that I like to write amusing parodies? I do seem to post a lot of them.

But hey, this is my second post in only a little more than a week, so you should be grateful!

This parody is (again) KOTLC – it just works really well, okay?? – but the song I’m parodying (is that how you verbify “parody?”) is from the Broadway Aladdin instead of Hamilton! See, it’s different! Totally!

Heh heh… oh well. Here we go!

High Adventure (Black Swan Edition)

SOPHIE:
What are we going to do, defeat the Neverseen?

KEEFE:
YES! Defeat the Neverseen!

SOPHIE:
Wait — we can’t do that!

KEEFE:
That’s the SPIRIT!
Who’s up for a little HIGH ADVENTURE?

DEX:
Okay, first things first, we’re gonna need weapons.

SOPHIE:
WEAPONS??? Oh geez. Couldn’t we just send, uh, a strongly worded letter?

KEEFE:
Seriously?

MR FORKLE:
Maybe I can convince these guys to work out a trade

KEEFE:
Convince THOSE GUYS? Sheesh, Mr. Forkle.

FORKLE:
That’s what I’m doing, Mr. Sencen.

KEEFE:
Well, do it faster, I’m impatient

DEX:
Everyone, choose a weapon (out of the insanely cool stuff I just made for you)

SOPHIE:
Ohhh I should really be going (like, alone. Because I don’t need any help)

KEEFE:
In wasting time we court DISASTER 

KEEFE/DEX:
Pick up that Sucker Punch

DEX:
And punch Fitz with it.

SOPHIE:
See, I couldn’t punch Fitz, because-

FITZ:
THIS THING IS AWESOME! (I can punch Alvar so much harder now!)

ALVAR:
Fitz throws a punch
Breaks your nose
Tries to kill you

DEX:
Sophie still likes him
So I should try to too 

BIANA:
And lo, before you know
You make your plans, you grab your friends
Your moment’s now, your old life ends
It’s time for high, 

KEEFE:
high, 

DEX:
high 

KEEFE/DEX/BIANA:
adventure!

FORKLE:
You’re off and running, your plans crashing

SOPHIE:
Your screaming high, 

FITZ:
your molars gnashing

KEEFE:
You feel so dashing on a high,

DEX:
high, 

BIANA:
high

KEEFE/DEX/BIANA:
adventure

FITZ:
Get set to give my bro a thrashing
‘Cause high adventure’s in the air.
To the Neverseen!

DEX:
To the Neverseen!

KEEFE:
To the Neverseen! *literally XD*

SOPHIE:
Are we there yet?

FORKLE:
No

SOPHIE:
Are we there yet?

FORKLE:
No

SOPHIE:
Are we there yet?

BIANA:
We’re not moving

(SOPHIE: Oh… that explains a lot.)

FITZ:
My anger issues ruined my life, guys
Heck, that’s not fair, guys
And I’m MAD!

(SOPHIE: So hit Alvar?

FITZ: Yeah)

ALVAR:
Fitz blows you off
Blows you up
Calls you mean

BIANA:
Dude, you’re still bad, but I see what you mean

KEEFE:
And so

KEEFE/DEX/BIANA:
We three will go
Until it’s through
Until it ends

KEEFE:
Here come all Sophie’s coolest friends
To save her from

DEX:
from

BIANA:
from

KEEFE/DEX/BIANA:
adventure!
From confrontations so exciting
From ever being in the fighting
Scratching and biting on a

KEEFE:
High, 

DEX:
high, 

BIANA:
high 

KEEFE/DEX/BIANA:
adventure!
Feel that adrenaline igniting
‘Cause high adventure’s in the air

LINH: Hi!

TAM: Hi…

ALL: Hi..?

KEEFE/DEX/BIANA:
Adventure!

FORKLE:
I hope the alicorns are breeding

FITZ:
With Sophie’s cuteness still increasing

SOPHIE:
My finger’s bleeding! 

KEEFE:
Well, that’s high

DEX:
high

BIANA:
high

KEEFE/DEX/BIANA:
adventure!
What we’ve collectively been needing
This high adventure in the air

Hark! Something calls like a Telepath from afar
Should we ignore it or listen at all?
It’s – wait! – the voice of fate
It calls to me, it calls to you
And to the Black Swan’s crazy crew
It’s time for 

KEEFE:
high,

DEX:
high,

BIANA:
high 

KEEFE/DEX/BIANA:
adventure!

KEEFE:
Danger to danger we go flying,

BIANA:
Completely unafraid of dying

KEEFE:
Sophie, stop crying! This is high

DEX:
high

BIANA:
high

KEEFE/DEX/BIANA:
adventure!
There’s no ignoring or denying
The kind of thrill that it’s supplying

SOPHIE:
And we all keep almost dying!

ALL:
When high adventure’s in the air!

aladdin-gif

And that’s that!

SOPHIE: My finger’s bleeding!

😂 😂 😂 😂 😂

Though, to be fair, Sophie’s usually justified when she complains about injuries.

If you’ve read KOTLC, what did you think? Was I fair to the characters?

(If you’re a Team Fitz, just say so, and I can imagine the rest of your furious comments, okay?)

Menni

LEGO: A Let It Go Parody

Hey, people! Menni here.

IT’S ANOTHER POST! See – I knew we could actually post things! Random things, true, but things nonetheless.

I’ve done a couple parodies on this blog before, but this one is different. It isn’t KOTLC or Hamilton!

If I just turned you off, it is about legos.

Enjoy!

LEGO: a Let It Go parody

Lego bricks glow white on the table tonight
Not a clear spot to be seen
A kingdom of invention
And it looks like… I’m the queen 😏

The bricks keep clicking, they are stacking side by side
Couldn’t stop building, heaven knows I’ve tried

Can’t find that brick, where could it be?
Be a good brick, and come back home to me!
It’s gone away, where did it go?
Hey, now I know!

LEGO, LEGO
Can’t stop building anymore
LEGO, LEGO
Click bricks, then click some more!

I don’t care if I step on them
Let my feet get poked
The pain never bothered me anyway

It’s funny how the new Hogwarts castle
Makes everything else seem small
And the sets that once controlled me
Can’t get to me at all!

It’s time to see what I can buy!
Even if the price is so sky-high!
No price too high, no cost for me
I’m a VIP!!!

LEGO, LEGO
I love the bricks, I adore
LEGO, LEGO
No piece separator!

Here I stand
On a LEGO brick (ow ow ow!)
Let my feet get poked!

My LEGOs cover first the table then the ground
My bricks are spiraling in lovely patterns all around
And one thought doesn’t break, just like it’s been Kragled…
I’m never going back
To sets built in the past!

LEGO, LEGO
I will build on and on
LEGO, LEGO!
Until each brick is gone!

Here I stand
On a LEGO brick!
Let my feet get poked
The pain never bothered me anyway!

elsa smirking
And that’s that! Hope you enjoyed! (Like I told you to… remember?)
 
Have any of you guys been having this ridiculous new WordPress update telling you “Updating failed. Sorry, you are not allowed to edit this post.”
YEAH RIGHT LIKE YOU’RE REALLY SORRY 
 
ahem. As you may have guessed, I have been having trouble with that. It goes away if I enter the post from a new tab on my computer…
which is why I currently have four (actually, five now, because it wouldn’t let me post either) tabs of this post up. After deleting, like, seven. ARGH.
 
Anyhoo, that’s it for now! Have a great day/evening/night/whatever.
Menni

ANNOUNCEMENT!!!

Hey, people! Menni here.

I bet that title got you reading this really fast, didn’t it? Maybe you though “OH NO THEY’RE ENDING THE BLOG” (perish the thought) or “ENNI’S ACTUALLY GOING TO POST THINGS!!!” (cut her some slack, she has like three blogs).

Nope. You were wrong. The announcement is…

dunh Dunh DUNH

dunhdunhdunhdunhdunh…

GENNI’S WRITING A STORY!!!!!!

I’m so proud of her! And happy for her! And excited to read it! And all you guys are too, right? *glares suspiciously* 

Ahem. Anyways, this is such a big announcement because, once she’s done, she’ll post it on this blog! Just like I did with Koko. 😉 

And I regret to announce that (unfortunately) Genni ignored all my wise and obviously excellent advice and chose Book Chickens as her publisher. So… *sigh* please put your wings together for D. Fowl, the *cough* renowned Book Chickens publishing agent!

Thank you, thank you. *cluck* It’s about time somebird with SENSE took over this post.

You are NOT taking over the post.

Yes, I am.

No, you’re not.

*a brief and completely nonviolent (totally) struggle for control of the post took place here*

Thank you, foolish human. *cluck* To get down to business, Miss Genni’s story is currently titled Lost in Camden, but humans are crazy changeable creatures so that may be altered at some point in the future.

Really? I didn’t think-

Who’s controlling this post, me or you?

Me.

*cluck* Nope. As I was saying, Miss Genni’s story is about an… interesting… human named Mayna, and her even more “interesting” (by which I mean extremely strange and prone to making certain humans burst out in fits of giggles) friend Gunner. They- WHAT, Miss Menni? This is MY post, remember.

Well, I just thought maybe we could put an excerpt from the story here, to sort of describe what it’s about-

With my own superior reasoning skills, I have decided to include an excerpt from the story here.

HEY!

Also due to my superior reasoning skills, book excerpts will henceforth be typed in bright pink.

My name is Mayna, and for as long as I can remember I have lived in the Camden City Home For The Children Of Criminals. Not the ideal life. Like, at all.

 I’m not trying to make my treatment sound cruel — all 256 of us are actually treated fairly well, we’re just locked inside. It’s kinda like your parent’s threat of grounding you until you’re 18 coming true. Except they wouldn’t have barbed wire fences. At least I hope not.

Are you tired of all this backstory yet? Yes? Good, cause I’m probably done. No guarantees, though. How about I tell you about the time Gunner and I slipped several frogs we found into the kitchens and scared the heck out of the cooks? Or the time we discovered the leeches in the pond? Or the — no? Fine.

Good grief. NO, silly human child, we DON’T want to hear about what you do with frogs. Or with leeches. *cluck* Leeches have NO respect for dignified, handsome, AMAZING chickens. 

Can I put my favorite part thus far here?

No.

Actually, wait – why am I asking you? I’m gonna put it here!

If I were a run-around-screaming-for-joy kind of person I would be doing exactly that, but I’m not. So there. Instead I will sit here quietly and ponder the meaning of life.

-30.62 Seconds Later-

Okay, enough of that. Yeesh, that was much less interesting than I expected.

😂😂😂😂

*cluck* What are those strange yellow circles you just typed?

These? 😂

YES, silly human.

They’re emoji. They’re very useful!

*cluck* Useful how, exactly?

🐔=❌👿😈👎👹

What is THAT supposed to- waaaaait a second…

I’ll run far away now.

VENGEANCE FOR CHICKENDOM!!! HOW DARE YOU INSULT SUCH NOBLE CREATURES!!!

Menni

*disclaimer: I have nothing against most chickens. Only Book Chicken employees tend to be ❌👿😈👎👹*

Thoughts I Need To Talk About…

(This is Genni, BTW)

Hi guys!

I know you haven’t heard from me for a while, but I promise this isn’t my ghost talking/typing. 👻👻👻

Which actually kind of brings me into a topic I’ve been thinking about recently. Death.

(Okay that sounded soooo much more morbid than I intended. Sorry!)

I know this is supposed to be a silly/happy/random/insane blog, but I just need to get this out. 

I’m sure all of you have experienced someone in your life dying, maybe a close relative, maybe a distant family friend, but I know it’s hard no matter who it was.

Maybe you were young and didn’t really understand, maybe you were older, knew exactly what had happened and were devastated. Either way, something big had happened. If you were older and close to the person you probably went numb for a while, didn’t understand why this had to happen, and just felt let down. I know, it’s happened to me, multiple times.

But one of the reasons you feel that way is because you’re thinking about the wrong things. You’re dwelling on the would’ve, The could’ve, the should’ve, when you should be thinking about the did

Instead of thinking it would’ve gone this way had not ____ happened, or the it could’ve gone this better way is not for ____, or even the it should’ve been something else you need to be thinking “this did happen and I know it.”

That can be hard. I’m serious, you can get utterly caught up in the WCS loop (I have been for over a year), but once you face what happened you can move on to the happy memories. 

Write them down in a notebook, talk about them with your family, put them to a song, smile, laugh, joke, it will help.

But here’s the most important part;

Read your Bible

There is so much about new life, hardships, struggles, and anything else you could need!

I’m sorry if you think I give terrible advice, I’m sorry if you think this was all just a pity ploy, I’m sorry if this brought back horrible memories, but I hope you take this to heart.