Did you know that if you hold the “option” key instead of “shift” while trying to type an exclamation point you get an upside-down exclamation point? ¡Ay caramba!
No, that doesn’t relate to the post at all—I just accidentally pressed “option” instead of “shift” while typing the title, and lo and behold! An upside down exclamation point¡ Seriously, I had no idea you could do that.
Ahem. Menni here! So, let’s begin with the backstory behind the post: in my Classical Conversations class this year- last year?- IN THE SCHOOL YEAR THAT HAS EITHER RECENTLY ENDED OR WILL SOON END *ahem* anyways, there was a person in my class who was very persistently polite. If you happen to be sitting next to him (and are not currently engaged in conversation), he WILL engage you in conversation. And the point is: this made me realize how much I actually appreciate being conversed with. I mean, even when my introvert brain is going “I just wanna think, lemme alooooooone,” I really appreciate it. It makes you feel like people CARE, you know? Therefore, I (a quiet, antisocial, nontalkative person *except for when I’m tired, in which case I turn into the chatterbox of the century*) have started to put conscious effort into The Art of Making Conversation.
So I figured I might as well share my tips on The Art of Making Conversation. Enjoy! (and if you stick around to the end, you will get the Xtreme course: The Art of Making Crazy Conversation 😉)
Tip #1: Have a List of Questions
This is a very important tip! Questions are key parts of any conversation, people. If you have natural talent for thinking of relevant/intelligent questions on the spot, you may skip this step. (Also, we mere mortals gaze at you in humble awe.)
Here is a sample list:
- How are you?
- Have you read any good books lately?
- What is your name?
- Are you doing anything this week?
- Do you agree that Rise of Skywalker NEVER HAPPENED? (also, it’s a horcrux) (wayfinder) (horcrux) (wayfinder) (horcrux…) *YWAI inside joke, sorry. Check out this post for explanation—read all the way to the end*
- How are your parents/siblings/friends or other relatives?
- What are your hobbies?
- Do you follow Yes, We Are Insane? (because you should 😉)
Obviously, which questions you use would depend on how well you know the person you’re talking to. For instance, if you’re talking to a total stranger, I would go with “What is your name?” rather than “Quack?” Conversely, if you’re talking to your best friend, you can probably go with “Quack,” and you DEFINITELY shouldn’t use “What is your name?” (unless you have amnesia or something XD)
Tip #2: Use the List!
Yes, you do have to actually ask those questions. Merely having a list will not start a conversation—surprise!
(I mean, you don’t necessarily have to use the questions I suggested. Just use some questions. Quack?)
Tip #3: Repeat Until Successful
This tip means: don’t let the conversation die. If the person with whom you are conversing is anything like me, they will A) give short answers to your questions, B) not ask YOU any questions, C) be easily distracted, and D) invent a villain character who is an evil undying duck (commonly know as the Evil Undying Duck, or EUD) and name possessed time-stopping cars Rosalind and Mortimer (not that those last things are actually relevant to conversation XD). All of these things will tend to kill a conversation dead in less than a minute! Well, DON’T LET THEM. Just keep coming up with more questions. And more questions. And more questions.
Eventually, you can start edging towards common rant topics (such as Rise of Skywalker), and sooner or later you’ll hit something that this person loves to rant about. Which will solve your “don’t let the conversation die” problem!
Of course, you may end up with a new “how do I make this conversation stop” problem, but who really cares about that?
And there you go! You are now fully equipped to make conversation with anyone, anywhere, at any time! Except with an inanimate object (let’s face it, that cactus is not going to talk back), in a vacuum (the scientific kind, not the cleaning kind, though come to think of it both types might make conversation difficult), and/or after your death or before your birth (unless you have a time machine).
Now for the Xtreme course: The Art of Making Crazy Conversations!!!!!!!!
Tip #1: Have Friends
This is very important, kids. You can’t have crazy conversations unless you have crazy people to have them with!
Tip #2: Talk!
Now that you have your crazy people, get together and say whatever comes to mind!
Tip #3: that’s literally it
Yes… this is exactly what we do. We have crazy friends (trust me), we get together, we talk. And you blog-readers seem to think this is funny! As a sneak peek into our inner lives… hmmm, what’s the most recent postable thing on our Hangouts thread?
ME: I need another word for “call” as in “communicate loudly due to distance or noise constraints”
ME: “yell” and stuff like that just sounds too violent
GENNI: Might be awkward, but could work!
ME: mmmm… maybe…
ME: Any other ideas?
ME: Thanks, by the way XD
GENNI: Is shout with “yell and stuff”?
ME: yes it is XD
GENNI: I’m getting desperate
ME: I was desperate already 😜
ME: there just really isn’t anything else that means the same thing
ME: Buuuut that doesn’t mean I can use the word “call” like three times in two paragraphs
Hmm, Enni wasn’t featured in that. Lemme find something with Enni. Umm… none of this is particularly funny… ENNI COME ON SAY SOMETHING HILARIOUS
Well, here’s some out-of-contextly hilarious stuff from the thread that’s just Enni and me XD
ENNI: okay I have confirmed that the horse did not make it to revolutionary war Boston
ME: Oh right I’d forgotten about that trip XD
ME: Richmond was so great
ENNI: I knowwww he was
ENNI: and no, the horse did not make it to Asia
ME: See, I was right again! XD
ENNI: WAIT THE HORSE DID MAKE IT TO REVOLUTIONARY WAR BOSTON
No, I’m serious—that’s actual conversation. It actually relates to the Evil Undying Duck who I mentioned earlier. MWAHAHA NOT EXPLAINING 😈
Oh, and here’s my absolute favorite out-of-contextly hilarious exchange from the thread that’s just GENNI and me XD
ME: Overly Neutral Or Most Aggressive: Two Options, Perfect For Our Esteemed Influencer (Amazon)
GENNI: Thank you!
That one relates to the story Genni’s writing. I love coming up with random acronyms XD Like, I Lollygag-On-Various-Extras it!
It’s so Completely-Over-Other-Languages, if you know what I mean 😉
But I think ONOMATOPOEIA is my favorite that I’ve ever invented.
Anyways, hope you enjoyed!