“You Will Burn” (aka that parody I told you I’d post)

Hello, people! Menni here again.

Aren’t you so proud of me for remembering to post two days in a row?? 😁

actually, don’t be – I wrote this post right after I finished the last one, I just scheduled it to post a day later.

I also just tried to type “scheduled” as “shceduled,” so you REALLY shouldn’t be proud (me talk like cavewoman a little too much, apparently).

But without further ado!
Presenting!
The amazing!
The awe-inspiring!
The acerous!

You Will Burn

(a KOTLC Parody of You’ll Be Back from Hamilton)

FINTAN:
You say
The price of my love’s not a price that you’re willing to pay
You try
To pretend that you cannot see me
When you see me go by
Why so sad?
Remember we made an arrangement when you went away
Now you’re making me mad
Well, what comes after our estrangement?
My revenge…

You will burn, soon you’ll fry
Your smoke will rise up to the sky
You will burn, time will tell
Do you remember when I served you well?
Once we rose, but now you’ll fall
I have been plotting through it all
And when push comes to shove
I will teach Brant how to light Everblaze to remind you of my love!

Fi- fi- fi- fi-ire, fi- fi- fi- fi- fi- fi-ire
Fi- fi- fi- fi- fi- fi- fi-ire!
Fi- fi- fi- fi-ire, fi- fi- fi- fi- fi- fi-ire
Fi- fi- fi- fi-ire!

You say our love is draining and you can’t go on
You’ll be the one complaining when I am gone
(KEEFE: actually, I don’t think any of us would complain if you left…)
And no, don’t douse the flames
‘Cause they’re my Everbla-aze
My yellow, burning bla-aze
My super-deadly bla-aze
Forever, and ever, and ever, and ever, and everblaze…

You will burn like before
I will fight the fight and win the war
For your love, for your praise
I’ll keep burning ’til my dying days!
When you’re gone, I’ll go mad
So don’t throw away this thing we had
‘Cause when push comes to shove
I will KILL COUNCILOR KENRIC
to remind you of my love

Fi- fi- fi-re, fi- fi- fi- fi- fi- fi-ire
fi- fi- fi- fi- fi- fi-ire!
fi- fi- fi- fi-ire, fi- fi- fi- fi- fi- fi-ire
fi- fi- fi-
Everybody!

FINTAN/NEVERSEEN:
Fi- fi- fi- fi-re, fi- fi- fi- fi- fi- fi-ire
fi- fi- fi- fi-t fi- fi-ire!
fi- fi- fi- fi-ire, fi- fi- fi- fi- fi- fi-ire, fi- fi- fi-
fi- fi- fi- fiiiiiiiiireeeee…

now, THAT is an interesting mental image…

And you can be proud of me again now – I forced a large percentage of you to learn a new word. 😈 You will recall that I described this parody as “acerous”?

Didn’t that make you want to look up what it meant? Didn’t it?

(and yes, it is a real word, in spite of the fact that WordPress will underline it in red if you try to type it)

For those of you who were confused but too lazy to actually look it up, “acerous” means “without horns or tentacles.” Which, applied to this parody, is perfectly accurate!

Me just an acerous little cavewoman, putting crazy on the Internet.

Hope you enjoyed!

“Emery Refuted” (aka Yet Another Parody)

See how wise I was to not trust our scheduling?

Incidentally, the post (well, post series, actually) that I was counting on being done soon… has gone from being one part to three parts to four parts and is currently taking up 65 pages on a Google Doc. Because I decided it would be brilliant to do a kind of roleplay story thing. I believe it can be described as… as… uh… “a very complicated and highly enjoyable storyline that all started because Menni wanted to ask somebody what they would do if a witch told them that they would be turned into either a cat, a fruit fly, or a statue.”

Very clear and concise, right? Anyways, that ought to be done by March at the latest – but then again, the last time I thought it would be done, it grew yet another part (“Coronation”).
Hopefully Zajkighoeklmsoneiqeutrihsinfmeirutredduclomnupzer can keep that from happening this time.

(no, I’m not going to explain that 😈)
(you will understand in time, young grasshopper)
(🦗)
(technically that’s a cricket, but whatever)

*ahem* on to the actual post!!

I was going to save this parody – and the strongly related one that will be posted tomorrow – until after the roleplay thing was done, but now I’m thinking I shouldn’t wait. So here’s MORE parody!!! (me like parody! give parody now! me no like grammar! me talk like cavewoman!)

I think y’all should be proud of me, seeing as I waited a whole TWO POSTS between parodies this time. And it’s been like six posts since the last KOTLC/Hamilton parody!! 🎉 🎉 🎉

Without further ado (ha),
presenting,
the one,
the only (as far as I know 😜),

Emery Refuted

(a KOTLC parody of Farmer Refuted from Hamilton)

EMERY:
Hear ye, hear ye!
My name is Councilor Emery
And I present the cohesive thoughts of the totally united Council
*the other Councilors avoid looking at each other*
Heed not the rabble who scream “Revolution!”
They have not your interests at heart

DEX:
Oh my gosh, tear this guy apart

EMERY:
Chaos and bloodshed are not a solution
Don’t let them lead you astray
This ‘moonlark’ does not speak for me

ALDEN:
Let him be

EMERY:
She’s playing a dangerous game
I pray you will all listen to me
Just as
You should

(LORD CASSIUS: *glares at Keefe like “don’t you even think about it”)

KEEFE:
Yo,
KEEFE/EMERY:
he’d have you all unravel at the (heed not the rabble)
Sound of screams but the (who scream)
Revolution is comin’ (revolution, they)
The have-nots are gonna (have not your)
Win this (interests)
It’s hard to listen to you with a straight face (at heart)
Chaos and bloodshed already haunt us (chaos and bloodshed are not a)
Honestly, you shouldn’t even talk (solution)
Remember the Black Swan (don’t let them)
Look at the cost, n’ all that we’ve lost, n’ you talk (lead you astray)
About Sophie? (This ‘moonlark’ does not speak for me)
my DAD speaks more eloquently than thee
(she’s playing a dangerous game)
and that’s really saying something…
(I pray you will all listen to me)
Sorry, say again?

EMERY:
For shame!

KEEFE:
For the revolution!

EMERY:
For SHAME!

KEEFE/DEX/TAM:
For the REVOLUTION!

EMERY:
Heed-

KEEFE:
If you repeat yourself again,
I’m gonna

KEEFE/EMERY:
Scream

KEEFE:
Honestly, look at me, please don’t speak

EMERY:
Not your interests-

KEEFE:
Don’t modulate the key, then not debate with me!
Why should a Council of elves in shiny crowns regulate what we can be?

MR FORKLE:
Mr Sencen, please.

KEEFE:
Hey, I’d rather be divisive than indecisive, drop the niceties!

ELVES:
Silence! A message from the Neverseen
A message from the Neverseen
A message from the Neverseen…

To which my brain immediately responded with Fintan singing “you say the price of my love’s not a price that you’re willing to pay,” which made me go like 🤣🤣🤣, which almost always means that I should write a parody. Therefore, I did write a parody! So stay tuned for “You Will Burn: A Fintan Parody of You’ll Be Back.”

🔥🧝‍♂️ +🎵 = 😂

(me still talk like cavewoman 😉)

Hope you enjoyed!

Crash and Burn (Burn: Sophitz Edition)

Hey, people! Menni here.

Aaaand we’re back with another KOTLC/Hamilton parody! Sorry. Not sorry.

It’s complicated — I’m not sorry to be posting KOTLC parodies, but I am sorry that I never post anything else… oh well.

This one actually started while I was posting the LAST Parody (Fixer Upper: Foster Square Edition)… do you remember? I was talking about how I think Sophie and Fitz are doomed as a couple because their relationship is so appearance-based,  and I heard Sophie sing “You and your eyes flooded my senses, your handsomeness left me defenseless”

I though “ha, that’s funny.”

And whenever I think “ha, that’s funny,” you can bet there’s a YWAI post on the way!

Presenting:

SOPHIE:
I remember each word you said to me
From the moment I heard them, I knew you weren’t mine
Then you said you were mine
I thought you were mine

Do you know what Keefe went and said
When you finally said you liked me?
He said
“I’m glad for you, Sophie.
Now I’ll go sit in a corner and cry”
*what was that all about? It’s not like he likes me*

You and your eyes flooded my senses
Your handsomeness left me defenseless
You live in a palace that’s made of jewels
You’re like a prince…

I’m re-thinking the words you said to me
I’m searching and scanning for ways to interpret each line
I’ll ignore your signs, ‘cause you can’t be mine
We will crash and burn
Burn

You wanted to know who my parents are
You wouldn’t rest until the world knew that we were legit
But when you could not, you told me goodbye…

Do you know what Keefe went and said
When you finally dumped me?
He said
“Give him some time, Sophie
‘Cause I am just the nicest guy”

You and your status, obsessed with your legacy
Do you realize you’re already a rebel?
I guess not, you’re paranoid about laws and
How elves perceive you
…you, you, you…

I’m agreeing that we should be just friends
But you’re still so sweet and so handsome, how can I resist you,
It’s breaking my heart
Please don’t tear us apart, I don’t want to
Burn

I don’t have time to burn!

My world is too crazy for this
The world needs me to go save it
I don’t get to have a boyfriend
I’m burning the memories
Burning the bridges that might lead me to you

But I still want you in my heart
I still want you to be my friend
Can’t we work together again?
Just ignore the memories of when you were mine…

I hope we don’t
Burn…

SOPHIE YOU MORON WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU

*ahem*

Hope you enjoyed!

FITZ YOU’RE A MORON TOO

*ahem again*

KEEFE WHY ARE YOU SO AWESOME

*no “ahem” needed there… 😏*

Fixer Upper: Foster Square Edition

Hey, people! Menni here.

Yep, it’s another parody.

I would like to take this opportunity to genuinely apologize to the non-KOTLC-fans on this blog. I know I’ve been posting a lot of KOTLC stuff lately, but I do post other stuff, too. I promise. Like, recently I posted A Glimpse of Menni’s Younger Days. And Enni, Genni, and I are almost done with a short-story-collab we’re doing that’s going to end up on this blog! It’s only taken us, oh, since early August. IT’LL BE DONE SOON, OKAY??

*ahem* Anyhoo, this is a parody of Fixer Upper from Frozen (you know, the song the trolls sing), and I ended up writing it because I have wanted to tell Sophie

since pretty much book 1. (I know that image is super pixelated, sorry. DO YOU WANT TO TRY TO FIND A DECENT PICTURE OF INCREDULOUS TROLLS??? DO YOU??? HUH??)

*ahem again*

On to the parody!

(am I the only one who calls it the Foster Square?)

*the Dizznee triplets, with some help from others, are trying to convince Sophie to finally pick a guy. Each triplet is advocating for either Fitz, Keefe, or Dex. Rex is “defending” (ha) Fitz, Bex is defending Keefe, and Lex was left with Dex (who we all know has actually already been solved out of the weirdest love triangle ever). So whenever one of the triplets sings, you can assume they’re talking about/to their, uh, defendant.*

ALL:
What’s the issue, dear?
Why are you holding back from such a man?

LEX:
Is it the clumpy way he walks?

REX:
Or the grumpy way he talks?

BEX:
Or the pear-shaped, square-shaped weirdness of his feet?

LEX:
And though we know he washes well, he always ends up sort of smelly.

GRADY:
But you’ll never meet a fellow who’s as sensitive and sweet!

ALL:
So he’s a bit of a fixer-upper,
So he’s got a few flaws.

REX:
Like his peculiar brain, dear-

BEX:
His thing with the Quintessence
That nobody knows what will happen with!

ALL:
So he’s a bit of a fixer-upper, but this we’re certain of
You can fix this fixer-upper up with a little bit of love!

DEX:
Can we please just stop talking about this?
I already solved my side of the square.

REX:
I’ll say! *to Sophie* So tell me, dear
Is it the way that he runs scared?

LEX:
Or that he’s socially impaired?

BEX:
Or that he only likes to tinkle in the woods?

*everybody looks at her*

KEEFE: *blushes*

BEX: What?
*to Sophie* Are you holding back your fondness due to his unmanly blondness?

REX:
Or the way he covers up that he’s a total jerk?

ALL:
He’s just a bit of a fixer-upper, he’s got a couple of bugs

BEX:
His isolation is confirmation of his desperation for human hugs
(Sophie: I’m, uh, not exactly a human.
BEX: Close enough.)

ALL:
So he’s a bit of a fixer-upper, but we know what to do
The way to fix up this fixer-upper is to fix him up with you!

KEEFE:
ENOUGH!
She is in love with Fitz already, okay?

REX/BEX/LEX: *blink blink*

BEX:
Sooo she’s a bit of a fixer-upper.

REX:
That’s a minor thing.

LEX:
Uh, Keefe’s an Empath, he’s usually right about this stuff-

FITZ:
And by the way? Check out our COGNATE RINGS!!!

ALL:
So she’s a bit of a fixer-upper, her brain’s a bit betwixt.
Get social constraints out of the way and the whole thing will be fixed.

(ALL BUT REX: ahhh ahhh ahhh )
*REX: AAAAaaARGH!*

EDALINE:
We’re not sayin’ you can change them,
‘Cause people don’t really change.
We’re only saying that love’s a force that’s powerful and strange.

BEX:
People make bad choices if they’re 

REX:
mad

BEX:
or scared 

REX/BEX/LEX:
or stressed.

BEX:
But throw a little love their way…

ALL:
Throw a little love their way…
And you’ll bring out their best.
True love brings out their best!
Everyone’s a bit of a fixer-upper,
That’s what it’s all about!

ALDEN: Father!

BIANA: Sister!

ALVAR: Brother!

(A LOT OF PEOPLE: *screams*)

(ALVAR: What?)

ALL:
We need each other to raise us up and
Round us out.

REX:
Everyone’s a bit of a fixer-upper, but when push comes to shove

LEX:
The only fixer-upper fixer that can

BEX:
Fix up a fixer-upper is

ALL:
True! true!
True, true, true!
Love (True love)
Love, love, love…
Love! (True love!)
True…

REX:
Do you, Sophie, take Fitz
To be your actual boyfrien-

SOPHIE: Wait, what?!

REX: He’s your boyfriend now!

ALL:
Love!

SOPHIE: *faints*

And there you have it! 

In order to forestall overlong discussions in the comments, I think I’d better clarify my Sokeefe/Sophitz position. If you’re not a KOTLC fan, you can (and probably should) skip this part. Honestly, if you’re not a KOTLC fan, you probably skipped the entire post already, so why am I talking to you? 

Anyways! In the real world, yes I am a Team Foster-Keefe. (In my fanfictions, I am also a Team Foster-Keefe… but in a very different way that takes a whole lot more explaining and weirds out a lot of my friends. Let’s just say that Sophie isn’t the only Foster sister.) However, I won’t fight anyone on the whole Sokeefe vs Sophitz thing, because I can argue for either side. The problem with Sokeefe is 1) KEEFE DESERVES BETTER, and 2) Fitz would never talk to either of them ever again. Actually, I’m unsure why #2 is a problem, since I personally dislike Fitz… which is one of my problems with Sophitz.  Predominately, though, I don’t like them because they have a very physical-appearance-based relationship (can you deny it?) and that generally means you’re going to crash and burn. (SOPHIE: You and your eyes flattered my senses, your handsomeness left me defenseless… *oh boy I see another parody coming on*) I think it’s weird that Fitz is such an awesome boyfriend to Sophie BEFORE he’s actually her boyfriend, and then once he IS, he’s like “what do I care about your feelings? I like my perfect life! But I want you too! But you don’t fit with my perfect life!”

*I love those videos, by the way – they’re the BEST*

Plus, excuse me Mr Forkle, but on WHAT planet does it work to try to make two teenagers of opposite sexes Cognates??? Especially when one of them very obviously has a crush on the other, and you’re not sure if he returns her feelings. Oh well, they’d be powerful, so let’s just make them share all their deep feelings with each other! This can only end well, right?

Anyways, *deep breath* this is starting to turn into a rant, so here is a meme-ish summation of my feelings about Sokeefe/Sophitz:

I could have been meaner to Fitz and used a picture of Humperdinck screaming in rage, but he’s not THAT bad.

SOPHIE: Why do I have to choose now? My life kinda sucks, you know.
FITZ: Try ruling the world sometime.
KEEFE: As you wish… 

Aaand there we go! Hope you enjoyed!

Yet Another Parody!

Hey, people! Menni here.

Can you tell that I like to write amusing parodies? I do seem to post a lot of them.

But hey, this is my second post in only a little more than a week, so you should be grateful!

This parody is (again) KOTLC – it just works really well, okay?? – but the song I’m parodying (is that how you verbify “parody?”) is from the Broadway Aladdin instead of Hamilton! See, it’s different! Totally!

Heh heh… oh well. Here we go!

High Adventure (Black Swan Edition)

SOPHIE:
What are we going to do, defeat the Neverseen?

KEEFE:
YES! Defeat the Neverseen!

SOPHIE:
Wait — we can’t do that!

KEEFE:
That’s the SPIRIT!
Who’s up for a little HIGH ADVENTURE?

DEX:
Okay, first things first, we’re gonna need weapons.

SOPHIE:
WEAPONS??? Oh geez. Couldn’t we just send, uh, a strongly worded letter?

KEEFE:
Seriously?

MR FORKLE:
Maybe I can convince these guys to work out a trade

KEEFE:
Convince THOSE GUYS? Sheesh, Mr. Forkle.

FORKLE:
That’s what I’m doing, Mr. Sencen.

KEEFE:
Well, do it faster, I’m impatient

DEX:
Everyone, choose a weapon (out of the insanely cool stuff I just made for you)

SOPHIE:
Ohhh I should really be going (like, alone. Because I don’t need any help)

KEEFE:
In wasting time we court DISASTER 

KEEFE/DEX:
Pick up that Sucker Punch

DEX:
And punch Fitz with it.

SOPHIE:
See, I couldn’t punch Fitz, because-

FITZ:
THIS THING IS AWESOME! (I can punch Alvar so much harder now!)

ALVAR:
Fitz throws a punch
Breaks your nose
Tries to kill you

DEX:
Sophie still likes him
So I should try to too 

BIANA:
And lo, before you know
You make your plans, you grab your friends
Your moment’s now, your old life ends
It’s time for high, 

KEEFE:
high, 

DEX:
high 

KEEFE/DEX/BIANA:
adventure!

FORKLE:
You’re off and running, your plans crashing

SOPHIE:
Your screaming high, 

FITZ:
your molars gnashing

KEEFE:
You feel so dashing on a high,

DEX:
high, 

BIANA:
high

KEEFE/DEX/BIANA:
adventure

FITZ:
Get set to give my bro a thrashing
‘Cause high adventure’s in the air.
To the Neverseen!

DEX:
To the Neverseen!

KEEFE:
To the Neverseen! *literally XD*

SOPHIE:
Are we there yet?

FORKLE:
No

SOPHIE:
Are we there yet?

FORKLE:
No

SOPHIE:
Are we there yet?

BIANA:
We’re not moving

(SOPHIE: Oh… that explains a lot.)

FITZ:
My anger issues ruined my life, guys
Heck, that’s not fair, guys
And I’m MAD!

(SOPHIE: So hit Alvar?

FITZ: Yeah)

ALVAR:
Fitz blows you off
Blows you up
Calls you mean

BIANA:
Dude, you’re still bad, but I see what you mean

KEEFE:
And so

KEEFE/DEX/BIANA:
We three will go
Until it’s through
Until it ends

KEEFE:
Here come all Sophie’s coolest friends
To save her from

DEX:
from

BIANA:
from

KEEFE/DEX/BIANA:
adventure!
From confrontations so exciting
From ever being in the fighting
Scratching and biting on a

KEEFE:
High, 

DEX:
high, 

BIANA:
high 

KEEFE/DEX/BIANA:
adventure!
Feel that adrenaline igniting
‘Cause high adventure’s in the air

LINH: Hi!

TAM: Hi…

ALL: Hi..?

KEEFE/DEX/BIANA:
Adventure!

FORKLE:
I hope the alicorns are breeding

FITZ:
With Sophie’s cuteness still increasing

SOPHIE:
My finger’s bleeding! 

KEEFE:
Well, that’s high

DEX:
high

BIANA:
high

KEEFE/DEX/BIANA:
adventure!
What we’ve collectively been needing
This high adventure in the air

Hark! Something calls like a Telepath from afar
Should we ignore it or listen at all?
It’s – wait! – the voice of fate
It calls to me, it calls to you
And to the Black Swan’s crazy crew
It’s time for 

KEEFE:
high,

DEX:
high,

BIANA:
high 

KEEFE/DEX/BIANA:
adventure!

KEEFE:
Danger to danger we go flying,

BIANA:
Completely unafraid of dying

KEEFE:
Sophie, stop crying! This is high

DEX:
high

BIANA:
high

KEEFE/DEX/BIANA:
adventure!
There’s no ignoring or denying
The kind of thrill that it’s supplying

SOPHIE:
And we all keep almost dying!

ALL:
When high adventure’s in the air!

And that’s that!

SOPHIE: My finger’s bleeding!

😂 😂 😂 😂 😂

Though, to be fair, Sophie’s usually justified when she complains about injuries.

If you’ve read KOTLC, what did you think? Was I fair to the characters?

(If you’re a Team Fitz, just say so, and I can imagine the rest of your furious comments, okay?)